As you guys will know, from reading my blog, I went to the University of Liverpool; UK, for three years and absolutely loved it. There were hard times for sure, but the memories that have lasted will outlive all of that.
Getting into it… nerves were starting before I left home, I was petrified and that’s not even an exaggeration. I was getting ready to depart from my little bubble of a town where none of my family had been to a UK university and none of my current friendship group were planning on going too and the uncertainty was at an extreme.
I was being teared from my comfort zone into a world which I knew very little about, I moved to a thriving city with a new accent and people from all over the world…a place much different to the protected bubble in which I grew up in.
I was also leaving my relationship behind; with a guy I loved deeply including some very on and off movement in between (which I won’t get into right now).
But there I went, with uncertainty taking its full grip over my mind and body I left and hardly gave a look back. Over the three years I spent at university, I did take glances into the future and tried to imagine what my life would be like down the line, but to be quite honest it made me feel sick. I just could not picture leaving a place which I considered home AGAIN.
University for me is somewhere I felt very happy, I had chances to meet as many people as I liked (as a hearty extrovert this is something that thrilled me), I was able to have routine and stabilise my independence whilst meeting some great friends.
It’s safe to say it took some time after leaving to get to grips with the small town I lived in again and get back into the routine of living at home in a bedroom which was fit for my early teenage self (tiny).
Although I do not recommend university for everyone, it definitely was a great experience and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.
Im now 23 and have definitely experienced a lot of uncertainty, lets discuss the 8 lessons I learnt from leaving University and how they might help you too.
- 1: Not having a plan can be a plan as well; I came home from travelling Europe after I graduated with no money left in my bank account, no job in journalism planned, no further learning planned and dumped back at my mums house living with my two brothers. In all words I felt lost and without direction, I had friends who were doing masters degrees and other friends just starting university. I had a degree to my name but I had no idea where to start, who to talk to and what to look for. However I took this into my stride, I didn’t give into the anxiety inducing feelings uncertainty brought I embraced them and knew that this is exactly where I needed to be in order to find out what I wanted to do.
- 2: Ideas will just come to you when you least expect it; I was sat on the balcony of a rustic Sicilian apartment in June and I had just finished watching inventing Anna. A show about an Investigative journalist who delves into the life of a Russian born German con artist and how she was able to fraud her way into the upper echelons of New York society. As I was sat on the balcony I got enticed to look into master degree courses and came across many including investigative journalism, I knew this was really calling out to me and eventually through research and my own personal preferences I decided that this is definitely a career I would love to have. So what i’m trying to say is trust the process and have trust in your journey, enjoy yourself and don’t put too much pressure in things you cannot control.
- 3: You may not speak to your uni friends everyday; I went from seeing my uni friends almost every second of the day not even being able to breath without seeing one of them and now I even go weeks without hearing a peep. It’s a very strange time, and not because we don’t want to speak to each other, but I guess that is just what happens when you start adulting. You leave the town you spent 3 years together and get new jobs, and start your new lives with new routines and the days just go by quickly. However if you are meant to be friends your feelings towards each other will not change when you next connect.
- 4: Some people do change; University is definitely a place of comfort I would describe and once you leave this comfort blanket, situations change and issues can arise. Your friendship group from uni might now have so many problems (like mine did) it can be really disheartening especially as someone who wants everything to be perfect. However, leaving university means you now have to make the conscious effort to carry on communication with people and things may not always work out in your favour, but if you stick to the point above those who are truly your friends will stick by you no matter what.
- 5: Connecting with old friends and family can be exactly what you need; After 3 or 4 years of distance it can definitely be strange moving back to your home town and seeing the faces of old school mates and your family friends. You may not think it straight away but it can be a blessing, using the opportunity build up some experience in areas for your career and giving you time to think about what you want to do.
- 6: Speaking to people is essential; I have always found talking to be a coping mechanism and it definitely does help with the post graduation anxiety. The amount of friends I have who are experiencing the same emotions and the same feelings as I do is crazy, but most importantly it’s just a reminder that i’m not in this on my own. With so many thoughts roaming through my mind, finding outlets to let this out can be so helpful and although your friends are not your therapist, speaking out about your issues is key to finding your peace.
- 7: Pick a hobby and stick with it; There is something about having a hobby which can really calm the mind, I am the type of person who can get bored easily and keeping stimulated can sometimes be a challenge. I chose hockey, I play twice a week and its something I keep in my routine. Having a place where I know I need to be every week can definitely keep the uncertain thoughts at bay. Its able to provide me with some comfort, I have met a lot of new people and I enjoy committing myself to something weekly that I love.
- 8: GAIN SOME EXPERIENCE; This last point is probably my most important, one thing I do regret from university is being way too laid back about getting experience. Although I try to live a life without regrets sometimes its inevitable… Whilst you are at uni make as many connections as you can, try and speak to career councillors and even your lecturers. It wasn’t until I was leaving where I really started to seek this advice and I definitely felt I would have needed it earlier. Invest your time wisely and don’t be afraid to work for free, I believe having a strong work ethic is very important and being able to use your time wisely is key.
Have any of you guys recently graduated? It would be great to hear what everyone has been doing post university.